![I swear one of the most questionable things about this is that it seems to make no distinctions between levels of supposed evils - with that layout ’baby killers’ seem on par with ‘sports nuts’. Also ‘atheists’ is so much smaller than ‘sports nuts’, while here I was thinking any god would have more issue with those of us who actively denied his existence than those who subscribed to ESPN. And then ’child molesting homosexuals’ [because all those gosh darn heterosexual paedophiles are just too straight to hate?] are as bad as ‘money lovers’? Really now?
This makes me want to create my own sandwich board, warning that my personal judgement is coming, and targeting the people who, though I can’t be misanthropic enough to build even hypothetical hells, would at least be sent to inhabit the regions of my heavens that didn’t have air-con. I’m going to start scribbling warnings then to
CROCS-WEARERSDRIVERS WHO DON’T STOP AT ZEBRA CROSSINGSANY-PHOBES‘EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND’ FANSAPPLE CUSTOMERS WHO QUEUE UP OVERNIGHT TO BUY IPADSRIGHT-WINGERSRUDE BUS DRIVERSPEOPLE WHO WEAR SANDWICH BOARDS
And then I will wear this sandwich board around town.
But I like the fact that it warns his judgement is coming but doesn’t specifically say how these particular types will be judged - yes it’s perhaps implied but that leaves room open for imagining a scenario in which God turns up for his rapture, rounds up all the sports nuts, atheists, rebellious women, drunkards, and pot smoking little devils - and has a wild night in watching the basketball. Because that sounds like my kind of judgement day and now that sandwich board has only got my hopes up.](http://media.fukung.net/images/5996/warninggodsjudgementqs8.jpg)
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I swear one of the most questionable things about this is that it seems to make no distinctions between levels of supposed evils - with that layout ’baby killers’ seem on par with ‘sports nuts’. Also ‘atheists’ is so much smaller than ‘sports nuts’, while here I was thinking any god would have more issue with those of us who actively denied his existence than those who subscribed to ESPN. And then ’child molesting homosexuals’ [because all those gosh darn heterosexual paedophiles are just too straight to hate?] are as bad as ‘money lovers’? Really now?
This makes me want to create my own sandwich board, warning that my personal judgement is coming, and targeting the people who, though I can’t be misanthropic enough to build even hypothetical hells, would at least be sent to inhabit the regions of my heavens that didn’t have air-con. I’m going to start scribbling warnings then to
CROCS-WEARERS
DRIVERS WHO DON’T STOP AT ZEBRA CROSSINGS
ANY-PHOBES
‘EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND’ FANS
APPLE CUSTOMERS WHO QUEUE UP OVERNIGHT TO BUY IPADS
RIGHT-WINGERS
RUDE BUS DRIVERS
PEOPLE WHO WEAR SANDWICH BOARDS
And then I will wear this sandwich board around town.
But I like the fact that it warns his judgement is coming but doesn’t specifically say how these particular types will be judged - yes it’s perhaps implied but that leaves room open for imagining a scenario in which God turns up for his rapture, rounds up all the sports nuts, atheists, rebellious women, drunkards, and pot smoking little devils - and has a wild night in watching the basketball. Because that sounds like my kind of judgement day and now that sandwich board has only got my hopes up.
