Things I’d said by 10 a.m. today:
- “I’m a terrible fiend of a liar, but what else can I do?”
- “Anaemia is a vampire illness except I don’t sparkle.”
- “Ah thank you, I love you, you’ve saved my life. Yes I’d like it ring-binded.”
- “I’m always excited by Ingmar Bergman.”
- “It’s too early in the morning for this.”
- “Can I get a black americano to have in?”
- “Can I get a double espresso to have in?”
- “I had four hours sleep and I’m really looking forward to this caffeine crash.”
Things I’d said by 2 p.m. today:
- “If I could be trapped in a single shop with all the other customers it would be Primark. I’d love to see what would kick off. I just love Primark people. They’re beautiful on the inside. Ignore the outside.”
- “Thank you. I’m a fool.”
- “Everyone likes poetry, they just don’t all know it yet. The same way everyone likes sex - virgins just need to lose their virginity first. There is a poetic hymen.”
- “I figure even if my clothes are falling to pieces as long as I’m wearing Calvin Klein underwear I’m fine.”
- “Well I can’t afford anything that costs money.”
- “Kierkegaard would have been happier if he dressed like me. Despair and hi-tops don’t belong in the same room.”
- “Can I get a black americano to have in? No, black. Very black. With an extra shot of espresso?”
